If you
are here and do not yet know me: peace be to you. Welcome.
If we
have known each other awhile, may I begin with this:
Forgive
me for hurting you or causing scandal in any way. I was horrible and mean. Perhaps, then, I did not know why, but somewhere deep inside, I was
hurting and so tried to hurt you in return.
That was wrong. Forgive me.
I
apologize for failing you, for not living up to what I said I was. Perhaps I presented an impossible ideal, one
I could not live up to, and I let you down. I made all of the wrong choices,
set a bad example, and allowed emotions to conquer principles. Forgive me.
My
life was, in a sense, a lie, because I did not live as I professed to
believe. What decisions have you made,
perhaps wrongly, because of my own failure to live rightly? Forgive me.
It has
taken years and years, and failure upon failure, with loss upon loss, to
finally begin to live as I believe.
Even so I fail and fall each day.
And
what do I believe?
With
all of my heart, I profess the Catholic Creed:
I
believe in God, the Father almighty,
Creator
of heaven and earth,
and
in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,
who
was conceived by the Holy Ghost, born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered
under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried;
He
descended into hell; the third day he rose again from the dead;
He
ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of God the Father
almighty;
from
there He will come to judge the living and the dead.
I
believe in the Holy Ghost, the Holy Catholic Church,
the
communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins,
the
resurrection of the body, and life everlasting.
Amen.
It is
true. If you have known me at all you
know I have never professed anything else. In spite of my sins and weaknesses, I have only
believed in Jesus, and Him crucified. I have only ever believed in the One Holy
Catholic Apostolic Church established by Jesus Christ for the salvation of
mankind.
I beg
your forgiveness for setting a poor example, for being a totally wretched Catholic,
for giving every reason for believing that anything else is okay.
My
sins are all my own. The Catholic Church as the mystical body of Jesus Christ
is without spot. May you see in me now
what I should have always been: a faithful child of Jesus Christ.
I pray
now to finally – finally – live and breathe as a good Catholic ought – to pick
up my cross daily and follow Christ, to live without shame or apology in being
Catholic.
If you
are here seeking me from yesterday, I hope you find someone better, someone true.
It is
with gratitude that I take this opportunity to apologize and ask your
forgiveness.
From
here on, I wish to advance humbly, yet surely, on the way of the Cross and
grace. I pray you will continue with me
a while yet in this vale of tears.
Pax
Domini.
