Remembering

I saw of picture of you today and my heart just about stopped.  It was quite unexpected.  You were so young and beautiful then!

My heart sighed and nearly cried over what was, 
but could never have been.

It was so purely by chance that I took a peek at a high school reunion page.  There you were, with a group of friends.  I remember some of them, too.  So very young.

This must have been not too long before we met.  31 years ago?

My heart did sigh and nearly cry with longing and regret over the love we shared, but lost in foolish youth.

It could never have been anything more.  We were two broken hearts, too young and broken to heal each other.  It was not at all perfect or ideal, and it was far from pure.  But it was real.

My heart does break and now it aches – remembering.

I never wanted to love anyone other than you.  My heart broke for years and years running away from the pain of being without you.  And I remembered only the awful things.  I forgot how much I loved you indeed.  For real.

            My heart now mourns what could have been, but never was.

And yet – I am glad to see that picture of you then, so young and beautiful, before the awful things.  It is good to see that face again.  Not the awful one that occasionally haunts my dreams. 

Maybe now my heart will be at peace. 
May your own heart be whole and at peace, as well.